I remember walking in to the last company I worked for every day answering the question of “How are you?” with “FREAKING Phenomenal.” Everyone would mention how positive I am and how its amazing that I am just always up. Little did they know that almost every day after work I was went to a local bar near my apartment by myself to drink. Little did they know that I wasn’t “FREAKING Phenomenal.” In fact I was completely depressed. I did this all for the sake of being positive.
I have read in many self-help books that the key to success is having a positive mental attitude. While I don’t completely disagree with this statement, I do believe that many people, which included myself for a long period of time, are confused as to what a positive mental attitude is and what it is not. I think we all should be positive. I think we should all try to look at the best in situations, and even more importantly look for the best in people. I full heartedly believe in a positive attitude. I never want to be the person that brings people down. I want to be the person who brings the energy and spirits up in a room. However was I being positive when telling everyone around me that I am “FREAKING phenomenal” or was I just ignoring the truth?
See a positive attitude does not require us to be up all the time. This is the true illusion of a Positive Attitude. I know many people who “appear” to be up all the time but I never see their life move forward. I never see them make progress in what they are pursuing. If progress isn’t being made, and it hasn’t really been made for a long time, but you have a “positive attitude” maybe you are confused as to what a positive attitude actually is. I thought that by being positive and telling everyone I was “FREAKING Phenomenal” the depression would subside and my life would move forward. This didn’t happen.
My life moved forward only when I decided to confront the hard truth of where I was at and admit that I wasn’t “FREAKING Phenomenal.” We don’t get anywhere if we ignore the reality and truth of where we are for the sake of being positive. That is what you call living in a facade. You think you are doing what it takes to move forward but in reality you are moving backwards. I don’t want to hear about the facade you are living in. I want the truth.
What is a positive attitude then? A positive attitude is facing the hard truth head on with the belief that things can get better. I love hearing someone share the truth with where they are but tell me how they are growing past it. This is someone with a positive attitude. Hey, I lost two clients last month, this is what I learned from it, and how I am changing to ensure it doesn’t happen again. That is someone who has the courage to meet the demands of reality. That is someone who has a positive attitude.
Be positive. Be the light to the people around you. Be the person to raise the energy and spirits in the room when you walk in. But don’t be the person who lives in a facade. Stop falling for the illusion of a positive attitude. Its not healthy and the only person you are fooling is yourself. A positive attitude is a key to success when you know what it actually is. Attack your problems head on with the belief that things can and will get better with the right action.