I grew up wondering what it took to be confident. I saw all these people around me that I felt were more confident than me and I saw that they were also more successful than I was in whatever area they were confident in, whether that be on the soccer field, in the classroom, with girls, or people. I always felt that confidence was a natural gift you were given but as I have grown up, studied confidence, and worked on my confidence I have learned that it isn’t natural, its built. Ive learned this not just from reading books on confidence or studying confident people but through my own experience. I am no where near where I want to be confidence wise however I have come a long way and it is because of three things, the willingness to take action, having a humble spirit in the process, and failing a lot. And let me emphasize A LOT.
When I left college I wanted to develop the skill of meeting new people, striking up random conversation, and building rapport quickly. I went out and talked to A LOT of people. Some months I met over 100 new random people who I exchanged business cards with. However at first, I failed a lot. I remember people thinking I was crazy, weird, a salesman, etc. However because I had the willingness to take action and I did it with a humble spirit knowing that I wasn’t where I wanted to be, I was able to fail and ultimately learn the skill of meeting someone new and building rapport quickly. Now I am very confident when I meet someone new. Pick just about anyone out of a crowd and I will go up and talk to them. Now my goal is to meet one new person everyday and most days I have no problem doing that. People ask me how do you do that? Or they say you will just talk to anyone or your so confident in meeting new people it just comes natural to you. I want to strangle them and take them back into time and show them the process. I wasn’t born a people person. I developed the skill through action, a humble spirit, and a lot of failure because I knew I needed the skill to get where I wanted to be in life.
If you want to be confident in life you need to be willing to fail. You need to be ok with looking stupid. You need to be willing to not be good at what you are doing for a period of time. Confidence takes time and there is never a peak that you get to where you cannot be more confident. Everyday I am trying to become more confident in everything that I am doing. My coaching, writing, speaking, videos, with people, etc. I know that I will never reach the pinnacle of confidence and I don’t ever want to. Confidence is attractive and people want to be around confident people. People want to follow confident people. If we want more friends, more income, a greater impact, then building confidence is essential in our lives. We must work on it with a humble spirit. Humble yourself, know that you aren’t where you can be and you have a lot of work to do. Go fail and learn and I promise you confidence will come!
-The Professional Encourager and Uplifter